89 shades of happiness

By Lutfi Dervishi

The Happiness Report this year found Albania in 89th place, a strategic position between romantic poverty and the dream of a European passport.

As usual, this year Albania has maintained its emotional balance, not falling below the penultimate country in Europe. We have left behind Turkey, one of our 15 strategic allies.

But there's no need to panic. Things aren't as bad as they seem. They're worse than they seem, but in an original way.

Those who design the questionnaires and make the assessments don't know that happiness here is... an extreme sport.

In Nordic countries, people are happy when apps work.
Here, we are happy when the government shuts down apps.

Not to forget the sectors where we excel like no other on earth.
For example: free healthcare: You go to the hospital with the flu and come out a gentleman, not only with a bank loan, but also with a friend for life - the pharmacist.

Say whatever you want, but you can't say monotony.

Life here offers surprises that the Nordic countries, the top countries in the ranking, cannot conceive of.

Take the example of parking. Parking, here, is not a necessity, it is an emotional festival. When you find a parking space, the body releases more endorphins than after a marathon.

What about when you see a field of grass? Grass, the kind that cows eat! Happiness in this moment spans three generations: children who have never seen grass, parents who never expected to see it, and grandparents nostalgic for the time when they were ready to eat grass.

Grandparents here only worry about one thing: maybe one day someone will go crazy and increase their pension.

Even buyers sometimes get worried, but only if prices drop. This is where the panic begins. "Are they going to put it in our hands?" But this moment of sadness is as rare as snow in Saranda. Here, people are doubly happy when they are being ripped off with transparency.

And how can we not mention the main contributor to happiness, the government?

In every other country, Scandinavian or not, first world or third world, the government tries to avoid scandals in order to maintain popularity.

Here the opposite happens:
When there are no scandals, the government's popularity drops.

Meanwhile, Kosovo, our younger sister that has fought a war, but has gone through the transition with less trauma, was ranked 29th in the world for happiness and first in the region
. Why? Wrong question.
How? Wrong again .

We know that the problem is in the report, not in reality.

Indicators are wrong!
They measure income, social support, health, education, freedom, corruption…

To be happy you have to be a little creative. For example, last night a fan bet that our national team would lose to England. If it won, the fan would be happy. Albania lost, but the red and white team was still happy with the money they won from the bet.
In short. We have a different concept and angle for happiness.

They still haven't understood that we are happy to be unhappy.

This is our national happiness: a stabilized melancholy, a collective self-consolation, a celebration held at the expense of the EU.

Our happiness is a Balkan luxury that no Nordic country can afford. And there is no way.