How does digital media affect our relationships?

People interact on social media, online platforms, and chatbots. These digital relationships are increasingly influencing how we conduct our relationships in real life.

When we use social media, social needs play an important role. In addition to practical reasons such as seeking information or entertainment, what motivates us most is the desire to create relationships.

Research is currently underway into the impact these relationships and the way we build relationships online have on our real lives. Social psychologist Johanna Lisa Degen from the University of Flensburg is one of the scientists who is studying in depth the creation of digital relationships on social media, their platforms and chatbots.

In recent psychological research, the term "parasociality" has been used to describe this phenomenon. This refers to the one-sided relationships between fans and their favorite stars. Today, there is a broader spectrum of parasociality online.

Wide spectrum of online relationship building

Johanna Lisa Degen includes in the term parasociality, for example, relationships formed through messaging services or dating apps. This represents at least "almost half of all relationships formed in the last five years."

The topic of online jealousy also falls into the spectrum of parasociality. This has to do with, for example, how much access someone has to their partner's data. And the discussion of where emotional infidelity really begins. Is it simply liking other people's photos online or following them on social media?

The way we present ourselves online—making everything incredibly beautiful, attractive, and interesting—means that even in real-life dating culture, a lot of things are performance-oriented.

Social psychologist Lisa Degen explains that this goes so far as to say that some people try not to experience orgasm in real life during sex so as not to get their faces scratched.

Conflicts are better resolved online

Nowadays, not only meetings, but also family and friendship relationships are organized via messaging services such as WhatsApp or other social media platforms. In this way, important parts of relationships are transferred to the digital sphere. One consequence of this is that conflicts are increasingly resolved less face-to-face and more via WhatsApp.

This gives us a little more time and allows us to reason without immediately responding to the other person. Many people are already accustomed to this type of relational communication and find it more enjoyable than resolving a conflict in real life.

Seeking relaxation on social media

Another parasocial phenomenon is that more and more people are seeking and finding relaxation on social media. For them, these networks are a safe, always-available place where they find predictable content that allows them to calm down and immerse themselves in an atmosphere of well-being.

This has an impact on our behavior and our ability to self-regulate, explains social psychologist Degen at a press conference of the German Society for Psychosomatic Medicine and Medical Psychotherapy (DGPM).

 

Making money in digital relationships is accepted

Digital relationships can also be one-sided, for example, when you follow influential people, influencers, and thus participate in their lives. That there is an economic interest behind these relationships is also increasingly considered normal.

Many demonstrate their loyalty by saying: "Of course I'll buy the products too, because I want to support this person." This is what social psychologist Degen has discovered in her research. She warns that we are becoming accustomed to the fact that economic interests can also play a role in social relationships.

Competition between digital and real relationships

As enjoyable as digital relationships are, they compete for our time and emotions with real-life relationships. Psychologists warn that we increasingly have the same expectations in real-life relationships as in digital ones.

This means that we expect real relationships to be constantly available, absolutely presentable, unchanging, and not to challenge us or confront us with opposing opinions.