Three common beliefs can destroy your relationship or marriage

Love isn't just about grand gestures or chemistry – it grows (or collapses) in the space between what we say and what we mean.

The hidden beliefs we have about our partner, often unconscious, can keep us from the strongest relationships.

There are some thoughts that can sabotage love without us even realizing it.

Three such opinions were shared by psychologist and therapist Jeffrey Bernstein, which we have listed below.

"If he/she loved me, he/she would know"

“Silently expecting a partner to 'just know' what we need can seriously damage a relationship. Love doesn't come with telepathic abilities, and expecting a partner to read our minds leads to disappointment, resentment, and emotional distance.

Tip: Replace 'If he loved me, he would know' with 'if I did, I would clearly express my needs to him.' “Honest, direct communication is not a sign of weakness—it's the foundation of connection,” Bernstein explains to Psychology Today.

“He/She must change – because I am right”

When we believe that our way of thinking, acting, or being is superior to our partner's, we are laying the foundation for failure, the therapist asserts. "Love is about seeing and accepting, not fixing—the need for the 'real' truth fosters control, not connection," he explained.

Instead of asking, “How can I change it?” we can ask, “How can I understand it better?” “Let go of the fantasy that your way is the only right way. Embrace the beauty of differences,” Bernstein advises.

“I don't have to work for this”

"The belief that love should always be easy is a dangerous myth. Every meaningful relationship requires effort – navigating disagreements, compromising, and learning about each other's changing needs. Passion and commitment don't just happen; they are nurtured with consistent effort and attention," the therapist concludes.