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POLITIKOFF

People who are happy usually have this thing that motivates them

Politiko 2026-05-21 12:04:22

People who are happy usually have this thing that motivates them

Self-determination theory helps us understand how the desire to pursue bigger and better things drives people forward. So it turns out that wanting what we can't have can be the goal of a happier life.

How many times have we been told "no," "you can't," or that we're not allowed to do something? When we're children, a natural reaction to this is a tantrum with flailing arms and watery eyes. We want to do whatever it is that we're not allowed to do. But as we grow older, we find ways to deal with these concerns in a discreet way.

Learning the consequences of our actions and gaining wisdom from experience after making mistakes is instilled in us from a young age. But as we grow older, psychology and neuroscience have explained that our need to explore and understand the world around us also grows.

When we're told we can't have something, it makes it that much more desirable. Why? Because it sparks a little something inside us called curiosity, and once our brains latch onto that urge, it's hard to let go.

Curiosity is the one part of the human brain that drives us forward. According to Jack Panskepp, author of the book “Affective Neuroscience,” the reason why people continue to explore and try to experience all that life has to offer is because it’s part of our DNA.

 One study showed that, since curiosity is connected to our pleasure centers, our brains actually reward us for pursuing anything we're curious about.

Curiosity is a natural human tendency, but it can have unpleasant consequences. Wanting more, wanting a better outcome, and trying to make things more useful for us are actually more rewarding than achieving those desires. This is the same reason why people who win the lottery can be content playing the lottery and losing for years, but they don't gain any happiness after winning that big prize. This is why it's important to balance curiosity with common sense.

Knowing that something is not achievable because it could be harmful to our health or psyche is very different from thinking that we cannot do something and working harder to achieve it. 

The key to a happier life is to pursue what will make us happy and is healthy for us. Setting and achieving goals is a good thing in life, so find what piques your curiosity and use it to make your life better. Go ahead and dream, wait for more wealth, better relationships or a partner who loves you.

You should work to achieve goals you never imagined you could achieve and explore every corner of the world. Work to achieve these things and then reap the rewards of your efforts. 

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