Personality over looks. What do we really look for in a partner?

Kindness and intelligence rank above physical attractiveness, according to surveys and psychology experts. Although appearance influences first impressions, studies show that it is not the main factor when it comes to choosing a partner for a serious relationship.

According to surveys on preferences in couples, physical attraction ranks in the middle of the list of desired qualities. While material achievements, such as financial security or owning a nice home, are considered among the least important.

At the top of the list are traits such as kindness, understanding, extroversion, and intelligence - qualities that are valued by both men and women, in heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

Greg Webster, a psychology professor at the University of Florida (USA), explains that although people can be influenced by "social desirability bias," the tendency to give answers that make them look better in the eyes of others, the results clearly show that personality weighs more than appearance.

This is also supported by data from the dating app “So Syncd.” According to co-founder Jess Alderson, out of over 1,000 users surveyed, about 90% stated that they prefer personality over physical appearance.

Psychologists often use the model known as the "Big Five," which measures five main personality traits: openness to new experiences, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.

Of these, empathy, which is related to caring, compassion, and interpersonal skills, turns out to be the strongest factor in predicting relationship satisfaction and stability. According to the researchers, physical attraction must be accompanied by this trait to build a serious and long-term relationship.

"Being a good person is essential for harmonious long-term relationships," Webster emphasizes.

Experts estimate that people tend to choose partners with values ​​and traits similar to their own. Similarity in mindfulness and openness to new experiences helps couples solve problems and manage daily life.

However, some differences can also be positive. For example, different levels of extroversion between partners can create a healthy balance and strengthen the couple dynamic.

Another element analyzed by researchers is dominance, whether social, physical, or financial. These qualities can be attractive, as they are associated with security and protection. But, according to experts, it is essential that dominance is not directed against the partner, but is accompanied by understanding and support.

In conclusion, studies suggest that kindness and intelligence are the safest investments in love. Looks may attract attention, but personality is what keeps a relationship alive.