"I thought I had to be extraordinary to be loved," Denisa Kele recounts childhood trauma

Denisa Kele, the renowned IT expert, shared one of her stories on 'Pasvon', talking about her childhood, her relationship with her mother, and how early experiences influenced the way she saw herself and love.

The writer and educator said that for a long time she lived with the belief that she always had to achieve more to deserve the love and appreciation of others.

"I've always wanted... I didn't think I just deserved love. So, both socially and personally, with a partner, it was so easy for me for someone to love me for who I am, for Denise," she confessed.

According to her, this pushed her to seek perfection for years.

"I've always tried to win love. To be the best, to show myself and others that I can do a lot, that I'm smarter, that I can achieve a lot," said Kele.

She also touched on her relationship with her mother, describing her as a very demanding figure.

"I didn't have a warm mother. I had a very demanding mother, a very cold nature, a nature that didn't appreciate any achievement that I might have within myself," she said.

Kela emphasized that she does not see this as a lack of love, but as an inherited way of upbringing.

"That's what we knew," she said, referring to the way previous generations raised children.

According to her, Albanian families have often inherited models where love was not expressed with words or hugs.

"Maybe this is generational. She grew up that way and transferred her relationships to her children," Kele said.

Today, she says she tries to do the opposite with her son.

"Maybe I broke it in my relationship with my son. My mom sometimes tells me that you are parents without character, because you raise your mind more than necessary, you compliment him," she said.

But for Kela, the goal is not to create an arrogant child, but a child who feels loved.

"What I wanted in childhood is to feel love. If you can't do it with words, at least physically, with a hug, with closeness, with warmth," she said.